Category: Momgirblog

Traveling With Kids

The sheer idea makes me completely anxiety ridden. From the laundry to the packing, to making sure my kids don’t get sick before we leave. Food shopping…who food shops before they go on vacation, right? It’s supposed to be a vacation! Well all you mommas know that if you don’t have a copious amount of snacks, activities and possible bribe toys, you may as well just stay at home, because traveling with two kids is NO JOKE. I pray for those who have more than two!

As much as I don’t want to do this, I have to rewind to the beginning of September, I know all of my Florida people will understand…IRMA. She totally killed my vibe and everyone else I was in contact with. Whether it was to get prepared, to stay or to go, or receiving message after message from your distant aunt urging you to flee the state, the stress level was sky high! So my husband and I made the call. We were going to take our 4-year-old and 1-year-old (on her first flight) to New York City, to get out of dodge, 2 days shy of what was said to be the storm of century. A catastrophic category-5 hurricane, coming right for us! After spending several hours not getting kicked out of travel sites and tons of prayers, I managed to get a flight out of Orlando (that’s about a 2 and a half hour drive from us). Enter “Mama Prep Mode.”

Laundry, laundry, laundry, who knew the next time we would be back, (although we had a flight out five days later…that never happened! Ha!), running to the store to stock up on food for travel and upon arrival, packing up clothes and toys, getting the dog to our moms (because they stayed put and did us an enormous solid). Oh and heaven forbid, I forget our babies that we sleep with at night! (Enter rolling eye emoji here).

Ok, we were all packed up and ready to rock. After not sleeping for 2 straight nights, eating half of the snacks we were supposed to take with us and being stood up by our shutter guy (Honey, you’re super cute on a ladder trying to put up a shutter with one hand. LOL). We were off! What was supposed to be 2 and a half hour drive turned into 4 (from what I hear we got lucky), we spent the night at our best bachelor friend’s house…Love you Uncle Tom! We happened to get the last bit of gas from a random gas station and parked illegally at the airport, because at that point who cared, the apocalypse was coming and we would be darned if we were going to miss that flight! Right?

Phew! We were on the plane! Of course the four of us had to split up. Baby with me, big boy with dad. As the boys had their feet up, headphones on and snacks in hand, the girls walked up to a 97-year-old lady with a breathing mask and a freaking cat underneath her seat, who made it very apparent she really shouldn’t be sitting next to any babies, because she was very old and had an oxygen mask. (NOT MAKING THIS UP!) After a two hour delay, thanks to thunderstorm and rain, tons of awkward complaints from the crazy cat lady (who thank goodness had enough oxygen in her tank and was assured several times we were on a full flight) and a baby who was most definitely a rock star for the most part, but had a few major meltdowns (thanks for the free cookies steward lady), we finally made it to the Big Apple. We had a welcome committee (thanks cousin Stevie) and an incredible family who took us into their home and did everything in their power to make us feel comfortable. To whom we owe an enormous debt and an incredible Florida family vacation to.

Although we forfeited our 7-year anniversary trip to Cali, it ended up being the best “mistake vacation” we ever had. It was a chance to see old friends and family, bring our kids to the very place we were engaged at, on my birthday 8-years ago, make some incredible memories and come back with one heck of a story to tell. Yes, flights were delayed and we ended up overstaying our welcome an extra two nights. We had a downed fence and a broken roof upon return, (flight was way better on the way back), but deep down we were saying our prayers about how very lucky we made out.

So, at the end of the day, I know it takes what seems like moving mountains to make those vacations that seem so daunting happen, but the moral of the story is to put your big girl panties on, put things into perspective and consider yourself lucky you have the option to do so!

-Briana D.

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to work or not to work

 

To work or not to work? That is the question most moms ponder. Really, there’s no right answer. It’s what works best for you and your family. I vividly remember as a young girl thinking that I would most definitely, (if afforded the chance), stay home to raise our children the way my husband and I saw fit. Then as I grew older, I decided that I needed to establish myself, my career, after all I worked my butt off to get a degree and was still paying off student loans! I was the prodigal latchkey kid, while my mom went off to work during the women’s equal rights movement, to afford us the life we so deserved.

So, when the time came for us to conceive, I thought to myself, well I can’t very well give up everything I’ve worked so tirelessly for. So, I worked day in and day out all throughout my nine months of pregnancy, waddling my way to the bathroom from my desk, covering breaking news, working crazy hours and figuring out schedules between our families. The plan was for me to go back to work part-time (that way I still had my identity, HA!), working weekends, so that my mom, mother-in-law and husband would fill in for me on their days off. Everyone was on board, yet when the day finally came where I locked eyes with my blue-eyed baby boy, I thought to myself how in the world could I leave? How could I burden my family to take care of our baby on their days off, after reporting to a full-time job? Daycare wouldn’t work, because my paycheck would have gone straight to the people that would have been watching after him.

I remember the day my husband and I made the decision for me to stay home. I was partially relieved, partially worried, partially petrified. Would I ever be able to get back to my passion? Back to writing? Back to reporting? Producing? Back to being ME. I didn’t have an answer at the time. The only thing I knew was certain was that I had this little tiny human being who needed me more than anyone. He needed me more than I needed to fulfill my dreams. More than my place of employment needed me…they would surely find someone to fill my shoes, right? Several people had said if I had the chance to stay home then to take it. It’s just a moment in your life and you have the rest of it to work.

A very dear friend of mine, whom I remember calling me in near tears while she was on maternity leave could’t understand the life of a stay at home mom. Literally wondering what on earth it was I did all day long? How isolated she felt. How she couldn’t wait to get back into the swing of things and get back to working. Here’s where it gets tricky. Momming is HARD! It is full of GUILT, no matter how you slice it. When I first had my son, I too felt alone, isolated, completely intimidated by the idea of having to make sure to keep another human being alive! What happened to all of those cute Instagram pictures of babies all dressed up in their monthly onesies? I felt robbed and I felt guilty.

Heck, I feel guilty every single time I make a purchase outside of groceries. I feel guilty that my husband bears the burden of having to work to support our family. I feel guilty when I raise my voice at my kids, because we’re in each other’s face all day long. After speaking to several moms who work, their guilt stems from not spending enough time with their kids, not making enough “mom friends,” not having enough patience…feeling judged. Truth is no matter what, we are judged. That’s life. So what it boils down to is to DO YOU!

We’ve had to make some serious adjustments to our lifestyle since I’ve become a stay at home mom. Going out to fancy lunches and dinners regularly? Gone. Buying something cute at the mall just because? Gone. Spontaneous vacations just to get away? Gone. See my point? Where my working moms feel like although they have to work all day, they come back to a clean home, that hasn’t been ravaged by toddlers all day, they have quality over quantity time with their little ones, they’re able to get dressed for the day, eat lunch with adults, have adult conversations that don’t involve potty training or weaning. They pee solo and have time to listen to their music on their way to work. They may even sneak in a quick trip to the gym or the nail salon. They don’t spend their days feeling like a short order cook, chauffer and maid, who has to change diaper after diaper.

Finally, I tried the part-time work thing. It was nice at first, but what I found was that I wasn’t able to give enough energy into one thing versus the other. I’m the type who devotes 150% to everything I do and for whatever reason juggling the two wasn’t my forte. I made the decision to be 150% mom, when we got pregnant with our second. I have my days when I wonder if I’m cut out to be the stay at home type. Am I fulfilling the kids’ days? Are they better off at school? Am I enough? I’ve learned not to be so hard on myself and that yes, I AM ENOUGH. I tell my husband all the time that I used to be somebody! That my lowest point was the day I had to clean up after our son who had pooped his pants in public, followed by my daughter’s tantrum in the middle of Whole Foods and topped off with our dog that decided to poop, eat it and throw up. TMI? Those are the days that working doesn’t seem so bad after all. Hearing my mom say how she used to hug her desk when she got to work.

However, I now know that I AM somebody. I am this single most important somebody to our beautiful babies and husband, that this is my highest point in life. To be able to raise our children and see them grow in front of our very eyes. I’m convinced that after a long day of Legos and laundry and cleaning up toys and the throw up, that I’m exactly where I’m supposed to be and that I have made the ultimate sacrifice for my family and hopefully someday they will thank me for it. That I am so thankful and forever grateful to my husband to even have the choice. So no matter if you sacrifice yourself and your lifestyle to stay home or you sacrifice your time to give your family the life they truly deserve by going to work, you’re ultimately doing the right thing.

I wrote this article back in March of 2017. Fast-forward TWO WEEKS later, I decided in April to go into business for myself after an opportunity sort of fell into my lap, which I will be forever grateful for. To be able to give my family, my children and my children’s children the financial freedom they so deserve. With my little boy now in school full-time and toddler who likes to sleep (thank goodness!!), I am now able to forge my passion for writing, blogging, delivering news and videos on important life-changing topics. Sure, the days are long and often hard, but maybe that’s just life and maybe just maybe we need to embrace it and celebrate the small wins.

-Briana D.

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the truth about sunscreen

Sunscreens have become a tricky thing in the world of skincare. It is a multi-billion dollar industry, with a complete lack of regulation, making it incredibly difficult to know what sort of things to look for and ingredients to stay away from. There are two types of sunscreens currently on the market…chemical and mineral. According to The Environmental Working Group, sunscreens with a chemical makeup usually have a combination of ingredients like oxybenzone, avobenzone, octisalate, octocrylene, homosalate and octinoxate, these are extremely dangerous, because they contribute to hormone disruption. Not only are they endocrine disruptors that act as estrogen, but they attribute to lower sperm cell counts and endometriosis. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found about 96-percent of the U.S. population to have Oxybenzone in our makeup. Additionally, chemical sunscreens contain Vitamin-A, also referred to as Retinyl Palmitate, which essentially causes even more harm than anything else, by speeding up the growth of cancerous cells, tumors and lesions. Mineral Sunscreens are usually a makeup of Zinc Oxide and Titanium Dioxide, which is considered a much more favorable choice. However there are a number of other things to keep in mind when making a sunscreen choice this summer and beyond, (because the sun does shine each and everyday!)

 

  1. Stay away from high SPF levels. Not only are they misleading, there’s a law in the works proposing companies to avoid labeling anything higher than 50+, but they’re waste of your money! You end up thinking the higher SPF has you covered, but it’s false!
  2. At all costs avoid spray sunscreens. You’re more likely to inhale the sunscreen than wear it on your body. Most of the time it ends up on the person next to you and as a result you are sunburned!
  3. Try to cover up with hats and long sleeves whenever possible, choose a shady spot and try to avoid the hottest times of the day to venture outside.

 

Unfortunately, three fourths of the sunscreens EWG tested came back positive for the toxic ingredients mentioned and Melanoma rates have actually tripled over the past 35-years. On the plus side, a law passed back in 2011 which prohibits the sale of sunscreens that make “waterproof” or “sweatproof” claims and must disclose cancer warnings on the bottle. Now we just have to wait for a proposed law from 2014 set forth by former President Obama called the Sunscreen Innovation Act to go into effect that would encourage a stricter FDA processes for reviewing and approving new ingredients. Although there are new broad spectrum testing standards in effect, EWG states that about half of the suncreens sold here would never be on the market in Europe, a place with a much more advanced policy on UVA protection. It’s important to get your daily Vitamin-D doses, just do it as safely as possible!

If you need help choosing the right sunscreen for you, I would love to help!

-Briana D.

 

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moving with kids

Moving is tough. It’s HARD. It’s even more difficult when you have little ones in tow. Sometimes in life, as the saying goes “You’ve gotta do what you gotta do.” That’s exactly what many of us do, in order to guarantee a better life for ourselves and for our family. We move around, we chase our career dreams and we work pretty darn hard at maintaining a sense of normalcy. That is probably the most difficult part. Sure packing and purging your things in boxes can be daunting, but it’s the uprooting of life that can create the complexities in life. Where will your children go to school? Will they make new friends? Will I find a doctor I can trust? What will it be like when we get there? Will it be Hard? The answer is YES. Will you figure all that out? YES. Sometimes we realize pretty quickly that the place we thought would work out, didn’t really fit the bill. Or the dream job we thought we needed was not quite what we had envisioned or maybe it was a stepping stone, to something even greater. The thing most humans are probably most afraid of is CHANGE. Taking that CHANCE. No one said life was going to be easy. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that saying. It is a true feat to be able to reach for something and actually do it. If you’re blessed with an opportunity take it. As hard as it may seem with young ones, it may be too late once they actually have a voice, an opinion. Pack one box at a time. Unpack one box at a time. If offered help…TAKE it! Put yourself out there. It’s not easy having those tough initial conversations with new people, but you’ll be glad you did. Immerse yourself in things that make you feel uncomfortable. It’s the only way we can grow as individuals. Friendships WILL change. People WILL change. They will come and go out of your life. Those who stick by your side through the best of times and the worst of times are worth keeping around. Understand that distance can be tough. It can either forge relationships or tarnish them. Take time to be in the moment with your children and your family, because they are what’s most important and a constant in your life. Take a family time out and go do something fun, that you’ll all enjoy, because they’re only little for so long. Take advantage of having takeout. Stick by your spouse, because you guys are a team. It’s SO easy to get frustrated with one another, but it’s important to keep things into perspective. Try putting the kids to bed early and having an at home date night, to reconnect. It’s going to be stressful, crazy and even unmanageable at times. Understand that this is just a moment in time, a means to an end and when you look back on your life, you’ll be glad you took that CHANCE!!

Listen to the “Moving Day” podcast below, as I give my perspective on moving with 2 children under the age of 4.

Moving Day Podcast by Karen Deerwester of See Me Hear Me Love me

-Briana D’Andrea

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mommin’ ain’t easy

The momming struggle is real. Between the never-ending mess of toys to wiping up piss & puke, coming up for air seems like the impossible. We’re more than just moms…we’re nurses, short order cooks, teachers, janitors, the list goes on. I’m a devoted momma and wife, who’s obsessed with all things Disney. A healthy lifestyle is what I strive for daily, despite being a pasta lover! I’m a self-proclaimed dancing machine and total book nerd. Having my two children has completely turned my world upside down (in a good way). I hope you’ll join me on this journey to finding yourself and what makes us the great moms we are deep down inside.

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mommy of two

It’s hard to imagine my life before kids. I used to always envision what it would be like to have children and here I am. Lucky as ever… with a healthy boy and girl in tow. Some days are hard, I mean REAL hard. There are days you think will never end, days when you have to tell yourself over and over they are your purpose in life and days when you feel like a janitor, left to clean boogers, vomit, poop and pee. Sorry for the mental picture.

Then there’s the anxiety. Something I never really quite experienced until I became a mom. Are they breathing? Are they hungry? Are they sleepy? Are they clean? Are they safe?

Just when I was starting to get the hang of this mom thing, the hubby and I decided to shake things up a bit. Baby number two. When we found out we were having a girl, we were ecstatic! I started to envision dance recitals, spa days and bows, bows, bows! I was so excited for my son to be a big brother to a cute little “sissy,” (that’s become her nickname these days). Then all of a sudden, I stopped in my tracks. Wait! How on earth was I going to be able to love another human being as much as my little boy? Sure I had the same setiment about my son and my husband when I was first pregnant, but this surely had to be different. I didn’t have enough of myself to give I thought…do I? How would I manage to split myself in two? Would I have to choose sides? Who would I bathe first? Who would I play with first? Then the age old mom anxiety kicked into high gear.

Nine months went by and she was finally here! Just like that, my heart expanded. So much so it nearly burst! Things fell right into place. Sissy had an immediate part in our little nest we had created for our family. It all made perfect sense. She belonged here with us, as if sent from the heavens above. It might sound cliché, but it was so true. She was here to teach my son about compassion and kindness, my husband about the truest of all emotions and me? Well, she’s taught me about the unconditional love between a mother and daughter and in turn made me appreciate my own mother more so. She’s made me want more for her than I had ever had for myself.

Life with two has been interesting to say the least. My son will always be a mama’s boy and the one who gave me the fortunate chance to be a mom to begin with, and for that I will be forever grateful. He is my inspiration. My daughter has afforded me the opportunity to see myself in her eyes. To relive my childhood again and to understand why my mom always wanted to wear matching outfits. Although, I still sometimes struggle with who to bathe first or play with first, I settle on doing it together as a family, because for me they are my purpose and my driving force and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

-Briana D.

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mommy of one

C16D0E37-0C01-4400-9853-04328C1B5646.jpegThese past couple of days as a mommy of one have been pretty bittersweet. As the days and minutes wind down until we welcome our pretty princess, I can’t help but reflect on the amazing times we’ve shared with our first born baby prince. The opportunity my husband has afforded us to be able to have spent the last three and a half years together making memories, taking naps, going on walks, potty training and just being “us,” is something I could never repay him for. Some fond memories that come to mind are our trips to the beach, the pool and the library. Making new friends, taking countless mommy and me classes, watching him grow day by day, learn things piece by piece. Often times, things got a bit chaotic, just like anything else, but I am thankful for those moments too, because it has made me appreciate both the good and bad times we shared. I especially enjoyed taking him to his first movie, painting ceramics together and going on his first trip to Disney as a family. These are moments I will never forget and I know my husband too will cherish for the rest of our lives.

Soon another bundle of joy will be added to the mix. I can’t help but wonder how my little man will take to her. Sure, I know he will be a softie, smushy boy who will protect her. I just want him to know how much of a special place he holds in my heart. How, because of him, I was able to be the mother I always dreamed I would be. I hope he continues to look at me the way he has since the first days our eyes locked. I hope I can always make him feel proud of me, make him feel loved and as if he is the most important person in this world. I know it’s normal to beg the question of how on earth will I be able to make room in my heart for another baby? To love them just as much as my first? From what I understand, you just do and I am looking forward to finding out what that feels like.

Briana D.

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the “mom-denity” crisis

 

Finding your own identity in a world of spit up, changing diapers and no sleep can be a tough feat. You used to be this strong and career driven woman who would stop at nothing to get that big promotion and impress your boss, but once you have a child, priorities shift. That huge project you once had your heart set on is now being pulled on string by string, by the little hands of your budding baby. Sure, you may go back to work and eventually get to work on that said project, but the feeling of knowing there’s that little special someone waiting at home for you changes things.

Someone once told me that this is “just a moment in your life.” I live by that sentiment every single day. The truth is my little man won’t want to hold my hand or give me one last kiss before bed someday. So each and everyday I promise to capture the moment I am in. Hold still, turn off my phone and relish in the pure bliss of being mom.

However, every mom at one point or another poses the question, “Who am I, other than mommy?” It can be tough to find the time to be yourself and enjoy the things you once loved, when you immerse yourself into being the mommy and wife you think your family wants you to be. You have the constant burden of what to make for dinner, is my child getting in enough time with me, there’s loads of laundry and dishes with my name on it. Let’s not forget how many more questions enter your psyche, when another child pops into the equation. The truth, is often times, your child is more than fine, because you’re questioning it. Order takeout, put the chores on hold and do what you love, what defines YOU. Whether it means joining a book club, taking a dance class, going for a run or even just writing in a journal. These things are important to keeping true to who you are and in the long run if you’re happy, then your family is happy for it!

Try to find a sense of community. This year I took it upon myself to become my son’s room mom for his class. Only two weeks in and I feel a sense of purpose in my community. Volunteering my time for my son and his pals has meant so much to me already. I’ve been able to connect with the other moms, find partnerships and make new friends. We all have one thing in common and that’s to ensure our children are getting the nourishment and education we had always hoped for, so that they can someday become positive contributing members of our society. So why not join the PTA or help with a major school event? You’ll be glad you did.

Next time you get down and out about your friends on Facebook, who are enjoying a nice glass of pinot by the lake and that fact that you haven’t taken a shower all day, relish in the fact that you are making one of the hardest sacrifices out there. To give up your dreams and aspirations for “just a moment in your life,” and before you know it, you’ll only have the memories to look back on.

-Briana D.

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