Tag: mom

Nobody’s Killing it!

Ok, I’ve gotta be honest. I’ve been a little quiet around here or at least it seems that way….Anyone else feel like they’re just going through the motions? Not sure if it’s because we have been in this COVID vortex for quite some time or maybe it’s, because I lost my best friend furry Sushi (our beloved pup of 17 years) and I can’t seem to quite bounce back from it just yet. 

Sure, I have some good days and bad, but I’ve come to the realization that COVID is here to stay. So what does that mean? Also, why has it become SO politicized? I assume it’s because we’re in an election year. 

Here’s the deal. We as parents thought we had it hard to begin with? Add a national pandemic to the mix and you’re in a for a real treat! It’s up to us to juggle all the things. I would be lying if I didn’t feel like I’ve lost myself some in the midst of all this. Whether you’re homeschooling and working full-time (there’s NO right or wrong answer), working from home or having to wear a mask and better yet work diligently to save lives all day…2020 is HARD. Now more than ever we HAVE got to set aside some time for what makes us, US. Ask yourself…is it reading a book? Watching some trash TV? Enjoying a quiet dinner after the kids are asleep? I’m telling you now that if don’t schedule it, it won’t happen. I’ve got to be honest, I’m pretty good about setting apart me time, but I would be lying to myself and all of you if I came off as someone who has it all together. I’m nearing my breaking point, pulling at straws to keep life as we know it normal. I’m also here to tell you that NOBODY is killing it! Everyone in their respective lanes is taking on this pandemic in different ways and suffering loss in more ways than one! Loss of a social life, loss of funds, loss of friends and even the loss of actual family members. 

I think the first step is to realize that we are living in the new normal. That big parties and gatherings are a thing of the past. Although they might be in our future, it won’t be the same for awhile. Perhaps its ok to give someone a hug (masks on), but then keep your distance. Here’s the other thing, if the kids need to go to school for your own sanity, then send them! If you need to head to the gym to interact with others and work out…do it! The bottom line is mental health is just as important as physical. I’m learning this everyday. Give yourself permission to do what you feel is right and screw everyone else, because after all we only have one shot, one opportunity on this planet. Maybe instead of saying nobody is killing it, instead we should say you’re killing it! So in the words my old friend Teo, “Go Big or Go Home!”

-Briana D.

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Potty Training is the Pits

I don’t know about you, but for me potty training is probably one of the worst parts when it comes to the parenting process. Now don’t get me wrong, I realize there are a slew of other first world problems many a parents face! However, I’m just keepin’ it real. The sheer idea of cleaning up feces and urine off of my living room floor, car seat, sheets…you name it, simply grosses me out. I realize that it’s my child who is making said bowels, but for whatever reason ripping off the band-aid and jumping on the potty train has me anxiety ridden. Don’t even get me started on the public restroom saga. Blech!

I feel like with my son (and perhaps it’s because he’s a bit more of a timid one), it wasn’t SO bad. We used to stand up on public toilets (he simply couldn’t reach & your welcome for the tip ;), so that he could go. He had this sort of this understanding that if he went in the potty he would get a sticker each day and then a prize at the end of the whole gig.

However, with our little lady…tooooottallyyy different story. I’m not sure if it’s a control thing, because with her that seems to be the case, with every. single. thing. Or perhaps it’s just the fact of the matter, that she’ll be ready on her own time. When our little man was 2 years old, just before bath time, I would set up the potty. Time and time again nothing would come of it and then one day boom!

I’ve tried the same tactic with little miss to no avail. She has no desire to pee in the “Elmo” potty and took it upon herself (while we were on vacation in the Keys might I add), she must’ve been feeling fancy, to go. Just. Like. That. We gave her a treat, made a big deal and as I presumed didn’t do it again. Experts say that regression is totally normal. Sleep regression. Eat regression.  We get it. What do the docs say about stress regression…nothing? Cool.

Fast-forward a couple of days and this lady decides to go for a number TWO on the big girl potty, completely unprovoked. Totally mind blown, I call my husband out of breath, freaking out about what to give her! Um the world, DUH! Long story short I have been saving these little Disney princess dolls for said occasion. She was totally stoked and chose Belle. After naptime, she decided Belle wasn’t going to cut it and wanted Snow White instead. Obvi, I didn’t budge and said if she goes potty not only will she continue to get each and every doll in the set, but a surprise at the end. Her response is I’ve already gone in the potty, mom! Number one and number two…done!

I guess my point in telling you this whole story is, I’ve since backed off to see how this strong willed 2 year old bite sized teenager is going to wean herself off of her diapers. I’m certain that one day she will have an epiphany and decide that she wants big girl panties and diapers are a thing of her past. Perhaps, I’m not pushing the envelope too hard, because these will be the last diapers I change for a while. Ouch. That hurt. However, I know in my heart of hearts that little miss V won’t be walking down the aisle in a poopy dipe. So why rush my kid into yet another phase of life, when I should just appreciate her independence and who she is right now. Side note: Right after writing this piece, she totally went in the potty again. Wish me luck! As with everything, I know this is just a phase and will someday be a blip on the radar. Just breathe.

-Briana D.

 

 

 

 

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Advocating For Our Children

Our tiny humans are small. They are vulnerable. They simply don’t know any better. So it is up to us as parents, to always go with our gut and advocate for our children and the safety of their lives. I remember it like it was yesterday. Our family had recently moved to Orlando, because of a job opportunity presented to my husband. At the time, I remember how difficult it was to leave our family and friends behind for sure, but it was almost the most difficult to say goodbye to our pediatric doctor.  I remember it like it was yesterday. We had interviewed him while pregnant with our first born, completely elated that we had found “the one.” It was almost as if he were a trusted member of our family, someone that would give us advice in good times and bad, when it came to the well-being of our little babies. When Reagan was first born, Dr. R (That’s what we will call him) saw us for his very first well-check, when he was running a high-fever, he was our trusted source, when it was time for vaccines, we drove a half an hour just to see our beloved doctor, because we didn’t think it would be possible to find anyone else who understood us…and then we moved.

I knew NOBODY. I couldn’t phone a girlfriend who had a baby, because well I had no friends. My bigger boy hadn’t started school yet, so it wasn’t like I could ask the others moms where they went and when he finally did start school, every doctor was more than 45 minutes away from where we lived and that was a no go with a 3 month baby in tow, who HATED the car and was already subjected to an hour and half commute daily. I remember scouring the mommy sites, local Facebook pages, doing research on every doctor in the area, when finally after countless reviews and numerous phone calls, we had decided on a practice. Upon arrival, I wanted to just curl up in a ball and cry. For whatever reason, it had this gloomy disposition in the waiting room…no one was friendly. Perhaps you could say it was the post pregnancy hormones that were kicking in, that contributed to my disappoint, but so be it. I know it didn’t do me any good to compare, but I just couldn’t help it. After going into what seemed like a weigh-in station at a vet clinic, we finally met with the doctor I had done countless amounts of research on. I wanted to like him. I really did. I try incredibly hard not to judge a book by its cover, but I just had this weird gut feeling about being there. My daughter Vera at the time suffered from a severe case of eczema on her face. I was nursing at the time and remember trying everything I could think of. Eliminating dairy, more water in my diet, lotions, body washes, keeping it dry, you name it, I did it! Dr. Y (we will call him) immediately saw little miss and said, “Oh, it’s just a simple case of baby eczema. Go to Target, get yourself some “xyz” cream and rub it on the area twice a day and it should go away (Not interested in degrading the company). I left that day sobbing in my car and oddly enough received a phone call from our previous doctor asking me how things were going and if we had managed to find a doctor. I remember in that moment wanting to head straight down I-95 and not look back, but that clearly wasn’t an option.

Our family is incredibly passionate about healthier alternatives. I wouldn’t call myself a crunchy mama, but if there is a healthier option for a lotion or a protein bar, you bet your bottom dollar I’m paying the extra 50 cents. I liken it to preventative medicine in an effort to not have to medicate an existing condition. I caved and bought the cream, because in all honesty I was DESPERATE! However, deep down in my heart, I knew that this lotion in particular was full of ingredients that I not only couldn’t read, but were potentially harmful to my little growing baby. I went home opened the bottle, put the cream on and by the next morning the situation had not gotten better, it got worse! Now while it could have been a number of contributing factors, in that moment I was mad at myself. Mad that I hadn’t said to that doctor that what he was “prescribing” was in fact no good and it didn’t take years of medical practice to recognize that, mad that I even gave it the slightest chance to help my poor daughter who was suffering from cracked, red skin on her precious milky face. I marched right back to the store, returned it and vowed that from that day forward, I would always be an advocate for my children. That mother’s know best. That I would be darned if some old school doctor who probably got his graduate degree long before studies were released about the harmful effects of products and foods currently on the market were no longer acceptable would tell me what my daughter needed most. That I would have a voice and the courage to say, “No Sir!” A month later, that said doctor wanted to prescribe yet another magic cream, that he thought would help my daughter with another skin issue she had. That my friends was the last time I went to his practice. I vowed to find another doctor that held on to the same values that my husband and I practiced. As luck would have it, we were able to move back home to our original doctor 7 months later.  Now while maybe not everyone is so lucky, my advice is this. Don’t EVER let someone tell you their opinion doctor or otherwise and allow it be the end all be all. YOU have a voice, USE it! Whether that means getting a second opinion, changing doctors or just standing up for what’s right in the world. Our little ones rely on us to be their advocates in this life and that my friends, is something I will always do for my babies, no matter the circumstance.

-Briana D.

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